I thought posting might help me get back on track a bit.
I’m exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally…all of it…and can’t seem to land on my feet right now. Things have been a bit crazy and I’m not happy about it.
My husband decided to apply for a new job. He didn’t discuss it with me until after he was interviewed and kept telling me he wasn’t going to take the job. He took the job. It’s a horrible idea. He’s taking a demotion, didn’t get the salary he wanted, and will now work a lot more hours a day, to the tune of 40 hours over two weeks…no overtime. The company is restructuring and laid off almost half of their employees two years ago. The laid off an additional 1,200 people between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and 300 the Thursday before Easter. Hubs is easily bamboozled, says it’s his dream (that he never told anybody), and doesn’t see how leaving one of the most stable jobs in the country with clear and consistent career growth for a company that is circling the drain is a problem. His parents have money. They’ve promised they’ll bail him out. Who cares that he’s married? Needless to say, we’ve had some pretty nice screaming matches about him making this kind of decision without talking to me about it. That’s not how relationships work.
My little dog is sick. She has been for an entire month. She fire hoses poo out in a gross stream and has to go out many, many times a day. The vet can’t figure out what’s wrong with her and we’re now just blindly trying things. Her bloodwork and stool samples all come back normal. He couldn’t find any obstructions. She’s stopped spewing blood and losing weight, so that’s something. He’s out of town this week, which is why I’m not in his office…again…for about the 8th time this month. She vomited this morning but I think it’s because I was too sick (not sure wtf is going on with me either — I woke up at 2 a.m. with bad upper abdominal pain and nausea…reminds me a bit of my ulcer years ago but that was lower. Ugh!) to get up and dose her medication, so hubs just gave it to her in a pill pocket and left without bothering to feed the dogs. I feel gross on antibiotics too when I don’t eat. I’m hoping that’s what it was.
I’m also on antibiotics…because I was bitten by a tick. My personal nightmare. Lyme disease is so common here that it’s scary. My neighbor died from complications of it. If I get so much as a sniffle in the next two months (or a headache, which is laughable since I have migraines), I’m supposed to go back to the doctor for more bloodwork and antibiotics. I still don’t have a primary care because of husband’s shenanigans. We’ve had three new insurance providers since my last doctor appointment. Again, something I’m very unhappy about.
…and the wedding I was in went to hell in a hand basket. Almost everybody involved was drunk by 11 a.m. and the wedding wasn’t until 4. I was one of the sober people, despite my best efforts with lots of tequila, packing my own flask of whiskey, and sharing some homemade moonshine with the groom’s family, so I ended up babysitting a lot of drunks. Whatever you can imagine went badly, did…and then some. It was the type of wedding where the father of the groom shows up with moonshine and all of the groomsmen are packing pistols but the bride goes full diva bridezilla and wants to be a princess (and when that failed we found her drinking champagne in a rusted bathtub). People got so pissed off that they literally drove off, abandoning the rest of their family at the venue, which was an Amish farm in the middle of nowhere. Interesting twist is that in at least one case, some married people enjoyed hooking up with other married people when their spouses left.
By the end of the night, cops were involved. Physical fights broke out and protection orders were issued. People should’ve gone to the E.R. but didn’t because it’s a wedding and a party and who ruins that?! At one point, I splinted a finger with duct tape because it’s all I had and tried taking them to the doctor but nope, they refused to go; they just went (two weeks later!!!) and the joint was so shattered it needs to be rebuilt, along with the tendons. I’m guessing it’s from not going to the doctor to begin with — broken bones don’t like to heal if they’re constantly being moved and used to punch people. But I’m not the one that’s so addicted to opiates that they could go two weeks with a finger grinding where their joint used to be, so what do I know?
As follow-up, the next day there was a threat of suicide in the order of a full will being sent out to everybody and them blaming their spouse for driving them to this. The protection order turned into a restraining order. Other people issued statements about being afraid for their lives. People were kicked out of houses. The day after, I received a mayday to please come pick somebody up from jail. They were facing 24 months in jail but needed a ride home after they posted bail. Thank goodness I was enroute even further south to GA for hub’s family and friends. Joy. I did find somebody else to pick them up and they took them to stay with some very unexpected people if you knew everybody involved. Eventually all of the charges were dropped…but people are still kicked out and strewn about. The bride’s mother is giving the marriage 6 months and the groom’s mother said he’ll learn his lesson the hard way — doesn’t bode well. I’m also joining the bet but giving it 9 months because the bride/groom were already fighting the week after their honeymoon. I think the only reason they’ll stick together longer is because he’s still living on base until December, so that’s 8 months until he comes “home” with a month to realize what he got himself into. I think I’m the only one they’re all talking to. I don’t know why.
I’m VERY glad I live 700 miles away.
After that, everything has just been a whirlwind of busy. I’m an introvert and it takes a long time for me to recover from people…especially my people. I think, after the wedding and the party last year, my husband is starting to understand why I largely refuse to go to family events. I haven’t had time to recover to me yet and I’m not sure when that’s going to happen. Yay, stress!
On the plus side:
My hair is blue now. I like it.
I also have my Grandmother’s recipe for macaroni salad (mine still didn’t turn out as good as hers) and am about to have a bowl for lunch. I also like that.
Grandmother says I’m a lot like her in temperament. Biggest complement anybody could ever give me. Now to become as friendly as she is. Not sure I can pull that one off. XD
Even though I don’t like being around people, I have lots of concerts and fun things to distract me. I’m seeing Book of Mormon on Thursday. Going to a costumed Dracula’s Ball in PA on Saturday to see a goth’n’roll band I like (The 69 Eyes). Seeing Judas Priest on Sunday. Avantasia is next Friday…then we’re thinking of doing an insane trip back to VA for the Memorial Day weekend to see the graduation of a kid we know. He was in foster care when we met him and really took to my husband; the kid was adopted several years ago and has had a few issues, so we still try to encourage him in any way that we can. He REALLY wants hubs to be there for his graduation. We’re going to try to deliver, even though it means leaving the concert in MA and driving nonstop, all night, to maybe pull into the parking lot right as graduation starts. It’s an 11 hour drive. Graduation starts at 11. The show isn’t supposed to end until Midnight. Can we do this? Are we crazy enough to try?
I talked to the bank and have secured approval for a car loan. I was worried about how it would go over since hubs is job hopping but apparently my credit is too awesome to deny. I’m thinking about getting an AWD Prius in June. I’d looove to have a set of wheels to call my own again and the freedom that comes with it.
I also booked three (!!!) extended vacations for metal festivals this year. ProgPower USA (Atlanta), Heavy Montreal (location should be obvious), and Full Metal Holiday (Mallorca). There are 89 bands between them…and I’m throwing in another 6 bands by going back to Montreal both days before I fly out for Mallorca because I’m insane and very, very excited. I think my only hobby now is concerts. Crafting has taken a back-burner, even if I do still carry a sock to knit on in my purse.
I read a long time ago that metalheads are happier and live longer, which I took to say that I’d be in the nuthouse if I didn’t have my music. With the way things have been going lately, I may end up there regardless. :X