The “Ugh” Continues

I noticed I named both of my previous posts “Ugh”. Oopsie?

I’ve been so busy it’s been hard to keep my head on straight, much less find the time to sit and type for a bit. I’ve kinda missed it so I’m here now!

The house has finally been approved for closing. I’m excited. And nervous. Really, really nervous…but getting more excited as the days go on. I’m packing and packing and packing. I’d forgotten how much I hate packing. I’m seriously looking at most stuff thinking I don’t need it at all. I’m only taking 4 pieces of furniture so far and that already seems like too much bother.

My guy has been staying here most days now. It’s over two hours each way to his job but he seems to think it’s worth it. I miss him when he’s not here. I’d grown so used to chaos and anxiety and generally toxic behavior that having a calming presence around is breath-taking.

Hubs is waffling wildly between accepting everything to the point of being gung-ho about me moving out…to days like this weekend. He just finished having a meltdown about wanting to kill himself – ended it with “someday” but not tonight. Honestly, I’m exhausted. He’s been throwing tantrums and crying since election night. Biden won, it’s what he wanted…but he’s still been sobbing uncontrollably since the news broke. I don’t even know how to handle him anymore. I wish he’d accept counseling.

I have a doctor appointment early in the morning. I had my labs done last week and she already called super excited about how my numbers have changed. Less stress is amazing, y’all! It’ll be interesting to see what else she has to say and what course of action will be taken for my knee. I hope I can also get something to mitigate panic attacks once they start.

And since they’re impossible to resist, a friend posted this relatively basic thing on Facebook and I figured I’d try filling it out before the bed calls my name.

37 odd things about me . . . (Honestly, none of them were that odd so not sure why it was titled this..)

1. Do you like mustard? Not really but depends on what it’s in/on. I love it in potato salad, hate it on burgers, will tolerate it on hot dogs.

2. Choice of carbonated beverage? Coke

3. Do you own a gun? Technically, yes. They were my father’s and my grandmother is keeping them for me until I decide what to do with them. I’m not big on having firearms around…especially with an apparently unstable spouse.

4. Whiskey, Tequilla, Vodka? Tequila, all the way, unless it’s straight then I’ll take Whiskey but prefer Scotch.

5. Hot dogs or Cheeseburgers? Hrm…probably hot dogs.

6. Favorite Type Of Food? Type is really broad. Um…I really like traditional southern cooking I guess. Fried chicken or country ham served with some dill pickles or beets and a good potato salad and baked beans, maybe some gravy for a biscuit. Throw in some white peaches and I’m happy as can be.

7. Do you believe in ghosts? Nope

8. What do you drink in the morning? Water, sometimes juice.

9. Can you do a 100 Pushups? LOL I’m lucky if I could do one.

10. Summer, Winter, Spring, Or Fall? All of the above, except summer. I really love the transitions in spring and fall, though.

11. Favorite Hobby? Probably crochet right now. It’s easy to sit down and pick back up without having to put a lot into remembering where you were or having other equipment on hand.

12. Tattoos? None

13. Do you wear glasses? Yups

14. Phobias? Closest things I have to one is entomophobia, specifically a fear of ticks…and of course I found one crawling on my arm today. UGH.

15. Nickname? Mermer is used fairly often. I also get Ams from time to time.

16. Three drinks you drink? Coke, black tea, milk

17. Biggest Downfall? It’s going to sound weird, but I’m too dependable. If I say I’ll do something, I will even if it’s to my detriment…and I’m almost always willing to help people out when I can. It’s exhausting. I’d love to be better at saying “no”.

18. Rain or Snow? Snow! But enjoy both. Snow is more peaceful though.

19. Piercings? Five, all in my ears.

20. Age? 34. I had to ask somebody how old I was last month. It feels like it’s been twenty years since New Years Day.

21. Kids? None, unless furbabies count.

22. Favorite color? Greenish

23. Employed? Legal bum ftw

24. Can you whistle? Yes

25. Where were you born? Take me to the place where I was born […] West Virginiaaaaaaa

26. Brothers or Sisters? 1 step brother, 3 step sisters, 1 biological sister (deceased)

27. Ever Been Arrested? No, surprisingly enough

28. Surgeries? I’ve had to be knocked out with gas five times, so I guess those count.

29. Shower or Bath? Bath, always. They’re the bestest!

30. Like gambling? Only if I know I’ll win

31. Are You Loyal? To a fault, unfortunately

32. Broken bones? Nothing major

33. How many tv’s in your house? It used to be zero but my guy brought one of his here so we could do nothing in the living room together. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to play games with somebody or snuggle and watch shows. Spending pointless time with somebody you care about is awesome. Who’d have thunk it?

34. Worst pain ever? Physically – organ death. I wouldn’t recommend it. Emotionally – the helplessness of watching people you love die. Also don’t recommend that.

35. Do you like to dance? Only with my dogs

36. Are your parents still alive? My mother is.

37. Do you like camping? I used to love it…now I’m old and tired and grumpy. I still like sleeping outside but prefer a hammock and not having to hike for hours to find a place to make subpar food.