It’s been a while but, honestly, not lamenting. I think I mostly post when I’m upset and having to work through things.

Isn’t the case now so not really sure what to post.

Things are going well. I’m finding myself happy for the first time in…decades. I’m off all of my antidepressants except the one that helps with anxiety.

L and I officially separated yesterday and that was exciting. We’re both in better places now, to the point our mutual friends comment about how different we seem. We’re still maintaining a friendship so everything there seems to be working out.

K is amazing. We occasionally butt heads and there a few of those living-with-someone-new growing pains but that’s the extent of it. Once we talk things through, we almost always end up back on the same page or at least with some new understanding. Our wild hair to live together is the best thing that’s happened to me on a looong time.

I went on a small vacation with L and his college friends a few weeks ago to Luray Caverns. Finally met a baby worth adoring – he’s precious and I’m an honorary auntie! I’ll also be meeting my niece next month and am also excited about that. She was born 14 weeks preemie and has worked sooo hard to be a healthy, happy baby. She’s kinda perfect.

Critters are all doing well and seem to love it here. Mitzi is FRIENDLY to new people!?!? Blew my mind. She’s over the moon about K so I think that’s a lot of it. She had to have eight teeth extracted last week, including her upper canines, but is recovering well. Everybody else is spoiled rotten.

I planted a massive deck garden this summer and am thrilled with it. My first squash are growing now! I’ve also started a collection of fruit trees that will be brought indoors during winter. We have 24″ ceilings, so why not?! So far I have a Meyer lemon, key lime, pomegranate, banana, avocado, and blood orange trees. I noticed over the weekend a kumquat seed I’d been trying to sprout is finally making an appearance. It has some catching up to do but I’m thrilled.

Not much crafting going on. I’ve sewn a few clothes but that’s really it. Been playing WoW more than anything, I guess.

Other than that, I got new glasses? Always an important event lol But life is good for now and I hope it stays that way.

My babies: Joule

This is the final installment of the my babies postings 🙂

Hi my name is: Joule

My age is: 8 years

My nickname is: Jubilee, Joujou Beans, Jou

My favorite human food is: raw steak and cheese

My biggest fear is: everything…seriously afraid of it all

My favorite things to do are: hide on a heater

Favorite toy: anything with catnip

Where do I sleep : Mama’s pillow or on a heater

Do I love car rides: hellllllll no

My job: use the litter box. That’s all they expect of me

Fun fact: I’m polydactyl!

My babies: Fossey

Hi my name is: Fossey

My age is: 10 months

My nickname is: Fossah, Foo, Pissant, Baby, Catatouille

My favorite human food is: anything that’s flavoring the dirty sink water. The grosser, the better!

My biggest fear is: I run on pure FOMO.

My favorite things to do are: Haphazardly run through any door, even if it means I get locked in a closet or wind up in snow

Favorite toy: Gnome on a stick. I have an amazinggg vertical leap

Where do I sleep : Usually on a dog bed. Sometimes with my hoomans, after biting their toes to make sure they’re real

Do I love car rides: Only if I get to ride in a lap

My job: Kill (and eat) all the ladybugs. I try to do the same with stink bugs but that never ends well

Fun fact: I still climb Mama’s pants so she’ll carry me around and love on me. I’ll even sit on her shoulder while she cooks

My babies: Aela

Hi my name is: Aela

My age is: 5 years

My nickname is: A-El-a, chunky monkey, pretty girl

My favorite human food is: cheeeeeese

My biggest fear: getting trapped in the basement

My favorite things to do are: hopping on counters and cuddles. Gimme allll the cuddles

Favorite toy: Laser pointer

Where do I sleep : snuggled next to one of the hoomans, preferably under the covers

Do I love car rides: Could be worse. I’m a pretty chill cat

My job: Terrorize the others simply by existing

Fun fact: I’m one of three calicos! I’m new to being Mama’s but she still adores me. I also have the softest fur of any cat ever

My babies: Mitzi

:)

Hi, my name is: Mitzi
My age is: 10 years
My nickname is: Moo Moo, Migadungus, Little Queen, Miss, Migadees

My favorite human food is: chicken!
My biggest fear is : Being left alone. Mama can’t leave me, even if somebody else is with me
My favorite things to do are: Bark at everything and boss all the other critters around
Favorite toy: If it squeaks, I’mma kill it
Where do I sleep : Wherever I damn well please. The best place is on the bed between my humans
Do I love car rides: Only if I can ride in a lap
My job: Bark at everything and try to desperately eat food before anybody else can
Fun fact: I weigh 12 pounds but tried to take on a Great Dane at the vet…and won

My babies: Ban

I thought it might be fun to take a break from life and introduce all of my furkids properly. I sure talk about them enough!

Hi my name is: Ban (pronounced Bahn)

My age is: 2 years

My nickname is: Banana, Bano, Goober, T-Rex Head

My favorite human food is: All the junk food. Pizza is amazing. Also like burgers and chickie nuggies and tacos and…

My biggest fear is : That I’m going to get in trouble for stealing Mama’s shoes (he doesn’t) or that I’m not going to get to go on a ride in the car with my hoomans

My favorite things to do are: Snuggle anybody and everybody, run zoomies, try to wear Mama’s hair as a fabulous green wig, go on car rides, eat all the treats

Favorite toy: Big green gnome

Where do I sleep : Start in bed with my hoomans but move to my recliner when it gets too warm

Do I love car rides: Oh boy, do I! So much that I try to jump in random cars

My job: Howl at package carriers and then try to deliver hugs. Chief gnome carer (he even tucks it into bed)

Fun fact: I has a hilariously deep howl. My hoomans love it as much as they love me

Life is kind of insane right now and I don’t know that I’d have it any other way. Moving is still underway, the separation is going smoothly, and everybody else seems to have lost their damn minds. The new house has needed more work than either of us could’ve predicted but my muscle man knows what he’s doing and what he doesn’t know, I know…so far. We seem to make a good team. He’s most recently been working on fixing various plumbing and I’ve been tackling the tiling the kitchen and managing the crew replacing the DOA boiler. Ever not have heat for three weeks in a New England winter? 😭

I’m currently disinfecting the massive upstairs air tub (still no heat up there!) so thought I’d spend a little down time here and try to catch up reading other’s blogs.

…and, as always, I can’t resist a questionnaire!

I would provide a link but I’m still struggling with a poorly phone connection, but I got the following quizzie from Karen’s blog, NothingButKnit. Go find her and wish her a happy birthday!

What is the most unique/fun/well enjoyed gift you’ve gotten for your birthday?

Fossey! The little furball was my birthday gift this year. Nothing is better than a kitten!

What is your preferred dessert to celebrate your birthday?

Grandmother aalways made me a German Chocolate cake…but I’m too lazy to make one for myself for my birthday, so I prefer an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.

What is your worst birthday memory?

I guess when I was 17. I had a pretty tumultuous relationship with my mother and she forgot it was my birthday. Argued with me that it wasn’t my birthday, even.

Tell us a memory from a birthday when you were a child.

For my 7th birthday, I was staying with my Grandmother. And one of my great-grandmothers, Granny, who was in her 90s, made me my very own little birthday cake about the size of a saucer. She decorated it with yellow roses and I was soooo happy to have something all of my own like that.

How would you celebrate your birthday if money was no object?

A delicious steak meal with ice cream, an exhausting metal concert, and ending the night with a bath in this newly cleaned air tub. I’m getting old, the thought of a soft bed and snuggling the new family is about all I need. I’m still holding on to some adventure though! It’s been a year without a concert. 😔

The “Ugh” Continues

I noticed I named both of my previous posts “Ugh”. Oopsie?

I’ve been so busy it’s been hard to keep my head on straight, much less find the time to sit and type for a bit. I’ve kinda missed it so I’m here now!

The house has finally been approved for closing. I’m excited. And nervous. Really, really nervous…but getting more excited as the days go on. I’m packing and packing and packing. I’d forgotten how much I hate packing. I’m seriously looking at most stuff thinking I don’t need it at all. I’m only taking 4 pieces of furniture so far and that already seems like too much bother.

My guy has been staying here most days now. It’s over two hours each way to his job but he seems to think it’s worth it. I miss him when he’s not here. I’d grown so used to chaos and anxiety and generally toxic behavior that having a calming presence around is breath-taking.

Hubs is waffling wildly between accepting everything to the point of being gung-ho about me moving out…to days like this weekend. He just finished having a meltdown about wanting to kill himself – ended it with “someday” but not tonight. Honestly, I’m exhausted. He’s been throwing tantrums and crying since election night. Biden won, it’s what he wanted…but he’s still been sobbing uncontrollably since the news broke. I don’t even know how to handle him anymore. I wish he’d accept counseling.

I have a doctor appointment early in the morning. I had my labs done last week and she already called super excited about how my numbers have changed. Less stress is amazing, y’all! It’ll be interesting to see what else she has to say and what course of action will be taken for my knee. I hope I can also get something to mitigate panic attacks once they start.

And since they’re impossible to resist, a friend posted this relatively basic thing on Facebook and I figured I’d try filling it out before the bed calls my name.

37 odd things about me . . . (Honestly, none of them were that odd so not sure why it was titled this..)

1. Do you like mustard? Not really but depends on what it’s in/on. I love it in potato salad, hate it on burgers, will tolerate it on hot dogs.

2. Choice of carbonated beverage? Coke

3. Do you own a gun? Technically, yes. They were my father’s and my grandmother is keeping them for me until I decide what to do with them. I’m not big on having firearms around…especially with an apparently unstable spouse.

4. Whiskey, Tequilla, Vodka? Tequila, all the way, unless it’s straight then I’ll take Whiskey but prefer Scotch.

5. Hot dogs or Cheeseburgers? Hrm…probably hot dogs.

6. Favorite Type Of Food? Type is really broad. Um…I really like traditional southern cooking I guess. Fried chicken or country ham served with some dill pickles or beets and a good potato salad and baked beans, maybe some gravy for a biscuit. Throw in some white peaches and I’m happy as can be.

7. Do you believe in ghosts? Nope

8. What do you drink in the morning? Water, sometimes juice.

9. Can you do a 100 Pushups? LOL I’m lucky if I could do one.

10. Summer, Winter, Spring, Or Fall? All of the above, except summer. I really love the transitions in spring and fall, though.

11. Favorite Hobby? Probably crochet right now. It’s easy to sit down and pick back up without having to put a lot into remembering where you were or having other equipment on hand.

12. Tattoos? None

13. Do you wear glasses? Yups

14. Phobias? Closest things I have to one is entomophobia, specifically a fear of ticks…and of course I found one crawling on my arm today. UGH.

15. Nickname? Mermer is used fairly often. I also get Ams from time to time.

16. Three drinks you drink? Coke, black tea, milk

17. Biggest Downfall? It’s going to sound weird, but I’m too dependable. If I say I’ll do something, I will even if it’s to my detriment…and I’m almost always willing to help people out when I can. It’s exhausting. I’d love to be better at saying “no”.

18. Rain or Snow? Snow! But enjoy both. Snow is more peaceful though.

19. Piercings? Five, all in my ears.

20. Age? 34. I had to ask somebody how old I was last month. It feels like it’s been twenty years since New Years Day.

21. Kids? None, unless furbabies count.

22. Favorite color? Greenish

23. Employed? Legal bum ftw

24. Can you whistle? Yes

25. Where were you born? Take me to the place where I was born […] West Virginiaaaaaaa

26. Brothers or Sisters? 1 step brother, 3 step sisters, 1 biological sister (deceased)

27. Ever Been Arrested? No, surprisingly enough

28. Surgeries? I’ve had to be knocked out with gas five times, so I guess those count.

29. Shower or Bath? Bath, always. They’re the bestest!

30. Like gambling? Only if I know I’ll win

31. Are You Loyal? To a fault, unfortunately

32. Broken bones? Nothing major

33. How many tv’s in your house? It used to be zero but my guy brought one of his here so we could do nothing in the living room together. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to play games with somebody or snuggle and watch shows. Spending pointless time with somebody you care about is awesome. Who’d have thunk it?

34. Worst pain ever? Physically – organ death. I wouldn’t recommend it. Emotionally – the helplessness of watching people you love die. Also don’t recommend that.

35. Do you like to dance? Only with my dogs

36. Are your parents still alive? My mother is.

37. Do you like camping? I used to love it…now I’m old and tired and grumpy. I still like sleeping outside but prefer a hammock and not having to hike for hours to find a place to make subpar food.

Ugh.

Ever had one of those days where nothing goes right?

That’s my day today.

I was coming off of, perhaps, one of the weirdest weekends in my life.

A certain guy was visiting.

…and my not-gonna-be-my-husband-much-longer was here.

They both knew the other were going to be here at the house. Didn’t stop either of them. Hubs even CANCELLED his weekend plans so he could be here and ninja around like an absolutely insane person. Seriously. He wore a mask, goggles, and gloves. Inside. On purpose. To “make [the other guy] feel safe”.

Safe by making yourself seem more of a lunatic?!

He was also running frantically from room to room in order to avoid the guy. Because he didn’t think the guy seemed sunshine and rainbows friendly to him. Because hubs yelled “HELLO THERE” at him as he threw food on the counter while running through the kitchen minutes after he arrived the first night. Other than watching each other curiously through windows, that was the extent of their interaction.

So. Freaking. Bizarre.

At any rate, my stress levels are high. Surprise! My cholesterol has therefore shot up like crazy during the past few months and I’m on a statin as a preventative until I recheck in November. The real pisser about being on a statin is I’m one of those blessed people that get side-effects.

I had horrifically bad pain in all of my joints during the night. Enough that it woke me up an hour after I went to bed…and I just couldn’t get comfortable enough to go back to sleep. I doubled down on my CoQ10 and am hoping no more ice picks come to stab all of my joints again tonight.

The guy had to leave for work at a crazy early hour and I hate seeing him go. He’s such a good source of calm for me after dealing with the hubs for 13 years. It’s kind of crushing watching that bit of security and comfort walk out the door.

Then my computer locked me out. Hardcore. Didn’t recognize my current password. Or the one I had previously. Or anything. It flat out refused everything I entered and I’ve used the same two administrator passwords for my basic logon since I was 16.

After hours of desperately trying to figure out a way to restore without a reset key…the password magically worked. Out of nowhere. Password wouldn’t work again when I went to settings to see wtf was going on. I can’t make a reset key if I can’t get the password to work so now I’m just hoping the power doesn’t go out until I can figure out wtf is going on with it and end up having to reformat or something. Ugh.

Somebody had noticed I was magically online a few days ago when they knew I was asleep. There is a lot of suspicion that my computer was messed with. It remains conspiracy theory for now but with some of the other crazy stuff that’s been happening, who knows.

Then hubs comes running upstairs freaking out. Complete madman.

Oh no, he double-booked for tomorrow! Needs me to do something now, now, NOW! He’s on the phone and yelling at me to do something…and I have no clue what’s going on. I’m leaving soon-ish. I’m not keeping up with the stuff that’s happening here or where he has to be for meetings.

I was already stressed. And in a lot of pain. And sad. And frustrated.

So when I take my phone off the charger to prove to him that I didn’t have either of the things he was screeching about on my calendar, I slapped it back in its case without paying attention. Backwards. Depressing all the keys. Completely, utterly, and devastatingly factory resetting it.

Do you know how painful it is to watch the happy, little Android robot with “DELETING” below it? …and there’s not a thing you can do to make it stop?

Very. Let me assure you.

Nothing restored except the singular email address I have saved in my gmail account. No photos, no documents/patterns, no voicemails from long deceased loved ones, no contact information, no calendar appointments. Nothing.

But what about stuff backed up on the cloud?

Yah, so turns out /somebody/ went over our wireless account’s data limit. When he got the message about it, while he was out of town and desperately still wanting to stream directions and music, he swapped the plan. All of our cloud accounts were deleted with that switch and needed to be reactivated and synced. He got a text about it and forgot to tell the rest of us. Yay!

At least the rest of the family now knows to reactivate their accounts and upload.

Since we’re separating, I’ve been having to coach hubs on how to pay the bills here. He’s staying in the house, I’m not.

It’s frustrating on the best of days because he didn’t know how to budget or how much things are or even how to check the bank accounts until a few paychecks ago. Why he chose tonight when I was already having kittens over the computer and phone duo, I’ll never know.

I walk him through paying everything and sorting out what he’ll need until his next paycheck. All done!

But not. He literally forgot that two bills are due THIS month instead of next. And he was fresh out of money.

The $500 car payment…and the wireless bill, which had an amazing $90 worth of data overage charges before he swapped it mid-cycle and accrued all sorts of fees for that too. I was only $230 more than it is a typical month.

I basically shelled out $900 tonight to save him and make myself miserable and lose all my precious data.

I bought myself a pair of shoes I’ve been wanting as consolation. I might as well get /something/ out of this miserable day other than stealing a few quiet minutes with that certain guy before he left.