When you can’t cry, laugh.

Life has been a bit weird lately.   …and by weird I mean I’ve had a horrible bout of insomnia.

I went to bed on Sunday at 8 a.m.  and slept until 10 a.m.  I haven’t been able to sleep since.  As of this posting that’s 43.5 hours of being awake.  It’s certainly not the longest I’ve ever stayed awake but I’ve reached that golden fun zone where I’m still wide awake and wanting to be productive…but I absolutely shouldn’t be.

I tried knocking one of the UFO items off my list tonight.  It should have been easy but there were two complications.

First: The pattern was marked wrong on the female version, so the stretch is in the exact opposite direction it should be.  I wasn’t thinking enough to catch it even though these aren’t my first pairs of pants.  The pajamas are skin tight.

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…and yes the fox tail was on purpose.  I have to find a way to cram as much crass humor in as I can some days and my late-night crafting-chat buddy is just as snarky and crude as I am.

Hubs tried them on too and couldn’t get the legs past his feet.  It made me feel a bit better that they at least fit me but they’re still not comfy enough for me to call them comfy pants.  I’m going to sew the legs closed, stuff them, and turn them into a “lap” pillow for my critters.  Maybe it will convince them to give my lap a break every once in a while!

Second: I really shouldn’t be sewing at all right now…

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The stretch is in the right direction but boy, did I sew those legs together.  Hubs said he felt like a mermaid and would like to request that the resident sea witch please give him legs.  I’ll be able to fix it later today in about 10 minutes when I quit giggle-snorting at it.  I promise they’ll fit when the legs are done right, even though it looks like a contorted dress on him right now. ^_^;

The third and final pair of pajamas turned out correct, which is good since they’re for a friend of ours.  But nobody to model those since he’s super athletic and tiny and I don’t think my leg would fit in the waist of anything that fits him.

I placated myself by ordering some more fleece for me at Joann’s clearance and will get hubs to drive me there after he gets home from work so I can pick it up.  It’s winter moose.  I love moose.  I’ll love them on pants.  It only cost $7 for the amount I need for a new set of pajama bottoms, so I’m not concerned about the mistake at all.  I made a note of it on my template and now I just have to figure out if I want to try to add feet to that pair!  I might give it a go!!!  (Not sure if that’s sleep deprivation talking or not…I used to love footie pajamas as a kid.)

I’ll count this UFO as done when I have three wearable pair of pajamas and a lap pillow for the dogs.  No half-measures!

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Miiiine

Pulled the Sheharazade shawl off the boards today.  I’m so happy with it.  I don’t often keep things that I make for myself but this one is forever mine.

I’ve got part of the cuff done on the monarch mittens, so I’m glad I’m making progress on something else.

I’ve been horrible and kept up my weird spending spree.  We have new kitchen knives (ours were rusted and the handles falling off), some scalemail scales, and shoes to wear with my bridesmaid dress.

Hubs said it’s funny how I can drop 100 bucks on crafting supplies and not blink…but the thought of buying new knives makes me cringe.  There’s some truth to it.  I like to use things until they can’t be used anymore.  I guess these have finally outlived their usefulness.

Cursing up a storm

I don’t think I’ve ever cursed and spat more than when I was trying to block my lace shawl.  I LOVED every second of knitting it and HATED every second blocking it.

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I don’t have enough blocking boards for it, so I had to double it up and start over when I realized.  For really large projects I often block them on our fold out couch…but this thing was too big for that too…plus my husband decided to drag his rowing machine into that room so it’s taking up the entire floor.  Thanks, New Years resolutions!

Either way, it’s done and drying and far from perfect…but done!  I kind of let it decide what shape it was taking, which was new for me…not sure I’ll do that again.

Also: a photo of the horrible crocheted scarf from my UFO finishing list.

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It’s also about a mile long and I hated the yarn…but the person requested it, so it’s on them to look at it forever, not me. 😀

I’m about to start casting on the mate to the monarch butterfly mittens.  They’re on my UFO list too and I’d like to get it done by February.  It’s been so long since I made the first that it may not work in my favor but I’m trying! 🙂

 

Food and crafts

For Christmas, my hubs gave me a cast iron pan that I’ve been asking for every year since we’ve lived together. FINALLY!!!  I think I’ve used it every day since I opened it.  🙂

The pan is for æbleskiver but we’ve had a lot of round food the past week.  My hubs even made a comment about all of his food being ball-shaped today.  Sorry, not sorry.

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He’s honestly been pretty excited about the food since he posted the above æbleskiver on his Facebook page yesterday.  It’s probably the most traditional thing I’ve flipped out of the pan (I’ve even been making round eggs in it this week) — buttermilk dough with apple slices inside, topped with some apple butter I made in the fall and a simple cinnamon whipped cream.  He was eating them as soon as they came out of the pan and just smearing them through everything….and has already asked for them again.  That was the only pretty-ish one since I presented it to him as a taster to make sure the batter was well balanced.

Hubs likes to be a jerk and post food photos often.  I think he does it because it generates comments at his work.  I made a beef wellington for Christmas and cleared the fridge a few days ago to make impromptu tuna cups…I don’t think any of the food is particularly pretty but I guess everybody has to eat so can relate somewhat?  He didn’t bother slowing down on his steak tonight (made his favorite coffee, cocoa, and cayenne rub) to take a photo.

Crafting wise:

“I’d like to work as much as possible out of my stash this year”  — says the person that has made a crafting purchase every. single. day. of. 2019. thus. far.

Tuesday I ordered precut batting so I can knock #11 off the list.  I have lots of batting at home but let’s be honest…the whole reason I haven’t done that one already is because I didn’t want to have to wrestle with the roll of batting to cut that many strips of it.  It’s huge and unweidly and my rotary cutter would need a new blade after that and it’d take a month to get all the fuzzies out of my self-healing mat.  If I need something to finish these projects, I’m all in.  Luckily, it was on clearance so I don’t feel bad about saving myself the headache.

Yesterday was a crochet pattern. I think I audibly squealed when I saw it.  It’s the Flying Saucer by lalylala.  I absolutely cannot WAIT to make this one!!!  It’ll be the first amigurumi I’ve made that I’m keeping.  I’m super excited.  It’s my kind of nerdy kitsch.

Today I caved and ordered some cork fabric.  I’ve been wanting some for quite a few years but haven’t been able to justify it for anything.  I’m going to use it to make a notebook cover because I’ve found that I never, ever want to use my cute notebooks!  This way, I can get plain composition books and cover it with something pretty and sparkly and actually use them.  I hope there will be enough left overs to use as wallet detail or something.  If not, I’m just happy to finally get my grubby paws on cork.  I love the way it feels!

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Doesn’t that cork look absolutely scrummy?!?!  It’s from the seller’s photos but it’s miiine now!  It won’t be here for a while so it’ll be nice having something fun to look forward to.

At least I’m keeping up with my UFO checklist, which was my main goal!  I’ve never been good at goals.  😀

I finished #7 today.  I’m also bad at following numerical order.  It’s drying on the my blocking boards now!

The pattern was Spider Lattice Scarf, free on Ravelry.  I’ll try to remember to snap a photo tomorrow, since it’s my first finish of 2019!

It’s easy and straightforward to make.  I had it memorized by the second repeat.  I do think there’s an error in the pattern at the end — it says to stop on row 8 but the final row doesn’t match in if that’s the case.  I ended up having to go back and add row 9 again for it to work.

When I pull the scarf off, I’ll finally block my Sheherazade scarf.  I’ve been putting it off because I like to procrastinate good things and enjoy them as much as possible.  I loved the pattern the whole way through but it was a sweet, sweet feeling making that last bindoff stitch!

 

Year of the UFOs…maybe

I think this year is going to be another year of focusing on UFOs or PhDs or WIPs — whatever your preferred terminology is. It has been my off and on goal to finish so many before starting new projects and I’m fairly good at doing that now.  So!

I wrote down 13 projects that I want to finish in the upcoming year.

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Some of them I’m excited to be working on, others I’ve put off for years for various reasons (looking at you evil #6!!!).  I’m not going to restrict myself on new projects, so long as I keep working on the old ones.  I would, however, like to see how much I can work out of my stash this year.   …which may prove impossible since I’m the MOH in an April wedding and things are getting a bit nuts and I just got the stuff to learn to play with vinyl so I can save myself a bunch of money through sweat equity.  We’ll see how that goes!

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I had to ask for a photo of the Tunisian crochet blanket I finished last month.  In my delight to have it done, I shipped it out without taking a single photo of it past the panel strips stage.  I put a super soft, plush fleece on the back to make it extra snuggly and warm.

…and to start the new year off with a question/survey thing!

***ASK your Husband these questions and write EXACTLY what they!***

•What is something I say a lot?

“Rub feets?” or “You should be doing your chores.”  Is it sad that I’ve driven you to say that so much?

•What makes me sad?

When I don’t follow through with what I say I’m going to do.

•What’s my favorite thing to do?

Play with kittens.

•How tall am I?

You used to be 5’10” but now I’m wonder if you’re not 6′ because often times it feels like you’re the same height or taller than me…unless I’m varying like crazy.

•What’s my best feature?

Probably your incredible wisdom for someone  your age.

•What do I do when you’re not around?

Only when I’m not around?  I think you’re mostly doing crafting when I’m not around but you also do that when I’m around.  Talking to people on the interwebs?

•What’s my favorite TV show?

Man, that’s hard.  Peaky Blinders?  I don’t know if that’s your favorite though.  Maybe it’s Fraggle Rock.  I can’t imagine you liking Fraggle Rock as much as Peaky Blinders these days.  Is it’s Sherlock?  I think it’s Sherlock.

•If I became famous what would it be for?

I think right now it’d be for crafting I would say.  That’s the number one thing you do that has public outreach.

•Where can I most likely be found?

At home.

• What is my favorite restaurant?

It’s definitely a Brazilian steakhouse.  It used to be Fogo de Chão.

•Where is one place I don’t like to be?

In the presence of my dad.  Maybe I should change that.  Is this publicly accessible?

•If I could go anywhere where would it be?

You’d probably like to go see Antarctica.

•How do you annoy me?

-laughs- By having difficulty listening.  I think that works for a lot of them.

•Who’s my favorite person?

Probably Grandmother.

•What’s my favorite kind of pop?

Coca-Cola.

•What is my favorite kind of food?

Churrasco.

•You get a call that I am in trouble, who am I with?

I’ve only ever gotten a call one time that you were in trouble and you were with the animals. (I was moving the last of our stuff to a new house and the wheel literally fell off of my car en route.  I wrecked into the guardrail with all of the critters in tow and had to call him at his brand new job to come pick us up.  He clarified after a few minutes of thought that most of our friends were goody two-shoes and if I went to jail it’d be for a murder-spree that likely included him so I couldn’t call him for help.)

Questions and a quilt

Relationship length: 11 years, good grief
Married: 6 years
Who’s older: Him
Age difference: 3 months
Who was interested first? I’m honestly not sure.  Mutual curiosity, perhaps?
Who’s taller: Him
Worst temper: Me
Most sensitive: Him
Loudest: HIM!!!
Funniest: Not sure. I’m more sarcastic/dry and he’s more doofy
Most stubborn: Me
Falls asleep first: Him
Cooks better: Me but he’s improving
Better singer: Oh good grief, neither.  A goat sings better than either of us.
Most adventurous: Oddly enough, I’m going to say me…unless it involves a phone.
Most organized: Me.  Me, me, me.
Better morning person: Definitely me.
Dresses the nicest: Day to day, him.  For fancy events, me.
Most protective: Me
Best driver: Me!  Though he’s so much better now than when I met him
Has the most clothes: Oh, that one’s tough.  Gonna guess me?
Most competitive: Him.  Holy crap it’s him.

 

…and since I promised a bit of eye candy, here’s the lap quilt I sent to my Grandmother for Christmas.  Blue is her favorite color and she likes to keep a blanket or quilt on the back of the couch she likes to sit on.

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We’re a Couple of Misfits

Hubs wanted to spice things up food wise — we do eat pretty wild and free and I’m comfortable cooking pretty much anything.

His biggest gripe is always that I never cook enough fish (I only like a few kinds) and that we never seem to have a bajillion vegetables (medically I can only eat ones that have been peeled and cooked).  He’d be over the moon happy to be a pescatarian.  I, on the other hand, not so much.

We have an impasse.  I cook some sort of seafood at least once a week and almost always make his lunches for work seafood based with tons of veggies.  I’ll make seafood more often if I’m feeling spunky or if I can find one of the types I enjoy for sale — most grocery stores aren’t stocking sole and grouper around here.

…but I did pick up two pounds of sole today at the fish market!!!  I almost bought some grouper but it was almost $27 a pound right now.  Eek!  I also got hubs a dozen oysters as a treat — they’re waiting for him to crack open as an appetizer before dinner.

He never complains about the food that is served, he just wants a bigger variety of things I can (and can’t) eat.

I have a huge chest freezer stuffed to the gills with meat.  We buy everything on sale and I shop the freezer before meal planning every week.  It’s the only way we can get the huge variety of food that hubs wants to eat without breaking the food budget.

So, in an attempt to assuage his whiny self about more vegetables, I bought a delivery service box.  Why not?  If it’s in the house, I’ll use it.  If not, I’ll stick to the same stuff I always get.

I started with a small box from misfitsmarket.  The box cost $23.75, I had a $5 coupon, and shipping was $4.50….grand total of $23.25.  If you subscribe, it’s $19 instead of 23.75 base price.

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I haven’t liked food delivery things in the past, but I will say this one impressed me.  The only veg that I wouldn’t have picked myself was the monster zucchini — it’s going to be loaded with seeds but I should still be able to use it in a stirfry.  All of the packaging is compostable or recyclable, so I’m also pretty durn happy about that.

I weighed everything out and they sent 12 pounds 3.25 ounces worth of vegetables — the box promised between 10 and 12 pounds.  Then, because I’m me, I priced out the difference.

$23.25 from misfitmarket, $26.86 for the same weight of vegetables from my normal grocery store (including member discount).  There are two caveats: my store isn’t offering romaine lettuce right now so I just used the closest in price….AND I used non-organic vegetables for my store pricing — the variety simply doesn’t exist in my normal store.  The in-store price would be way higher if it was all organic there.

Overall, I’d do it again.  If these vegetables go down easily this week, I know I could be on board with the two boxes a month subscription.

Hubs is very, very excited.  He’s going to be using some of the romaine on open-faced sandwiches tonight (I can’t eat lettuce so it’s a rare treat for him!) and I have tuna and avocado cups on the menu for tomorrow’s lunch.

Bah humbug

Our Christmas travel plans were cancelled this year.

I’m kind of sad but I’m mostly okay with it.  I’ll miss seeing my Grandmother but it’ll be nice not having to do a mad-dash drive across the eastern seaboard for once.

Also, because I don’t have to worry about packing…I have time for crafting!

I finished my Sheherazade shawl.  FINALLY!!!

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That’s hot off the needles.  It took forever to do the elastic cast-off.  Forever.

I’ll wet and block it tomorrow.  I’m kind of excited!  There are a lot of little points to fiddle with on the edge, so it’ll either drive me nuts or be a ton of fun.

I also have a few other projects I’ve finished and some more things on the hook, needles, and sewing machine beds.  I’ll try to get my act together soon and take a few more photos to share.

When it rains, it pours

General update since my last post:

I started the MKAL but I’m so far behind I’ll never catch up.  I’m a bit discouraged by that so I’ve been working on other projects when I feel up to it.

I’m usually done with Christmas stuff by September…but I haven’t done any of it this year, so I started a gift yesterday:

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It should be a rosebud throw when I’m done.  Mom loves the quilt I made for keeping in the car and asked if I’d make her something for hers since she gets cold easily.  I’ll back this in fleece and crochet a border around the edge when I’m done.  I really love cross stitch and Tunisian crochet, so it’s going together a lot faster than I expected.  Though I’ll probably have to take a day or two off — I overused my right arm yesterday and aggravated my ulnar nerve…again.  I’ve got to learn to quit doing that.  I slapped a lidocaine patch on it since they’ve helped in the past.

We had guests and I was so stressed I didn’t sleep for a week.  It was bad.

I have a sign by my door that says “All guests bring happiness: some coming, some leaving”.  Ain’t that the damn truth!

I found my matron of honor dress at a local boutique.  The bride approved it.  It’s been a bit hard coordinating everything since I live 12 hours from the festivities.

Went to two concerts:  Metallica and GoreCore Metal Tour featuring GWAR

I’ve wanted to see GWAR since before I was a metal fan.  I remember being sick at my Granny Boo’s house when I was little and seeing them on Joan Rivers.  We didn’t have any kind of television service at home so could only watch recorded VHSes that other people gave us…mostly Sesame Street.  You can imagine, coming from that, that GWAR made  quite an impression.  Video here.  The singer in the video passed away a number of years ago but the new(ish) guy is good and entertaining.

…and yah, the show was pretty bloody and gory.  The  most pit was the worst I’ve seen it at that venue and they were spraying stuff into the audience the whole time.  The blood was fake, of course, but it’s the only metal concert I’ve been to where the audience wears white instead of black.

I knew the show was going to be rough so I parked myself next to a wall on a platformed viewing area so I couldn’t get sucked into the mosh.  It had one MASSIVE drawback though.  Where I was standing was a clear view straight into the dressing rooms.  It was already warm so they just left the door to the venue open — everywhere else was blocked because of screens on the stage but not where I was standing.  Before the show, they went from street clothes to just walking around naked before donning their thongs and costumes.  I saw more old man butt and balls than I ever wanted to…and the same for every costume change that happened.  Some of their costumes are amazing, though, especially up close.

I also went to my first rave.  I’m hoping it’ll be my last.  The music was fine — it was the Seven Lions tour — but I’ve never felt more out of place in my life.  My husband is a big EDM fan so he was happily dancing away with glow sticks.  People there were huggy and talkative and I’ve seen lingerie models wearing more clothes than some…it just wasn’t my type of scene.

It also didn’t help that during the first DJ, a dude that was dancing on the platform I’d been hiding on the night before, tripped off of it and down the stairs.  He landed right on top of me, taking a bar table and trash can with him.  It tweaked my already doofy ankle pretty badly and it started swelling.  I was lucky and was able to sit somewhere out of the way for the rest of the night.

…and then when hubs was finally ready to leave and we were walking out, my ankle totally gave out and I hit a ledge.  I couldn’t put any weight on it and I’m pretty bruised up.  It was so bad that security, (which was especially tight since it was the night after the shooting in Cali at a similar venue) known to be complete hardasses (I’ve seen them make little kids cry and physically carry somebody out by palming their head like a basketball), yelled at my husband when he tried to make me walk to the car.  They told him to go get the car and they’d let him right by the doors and make sure nobody stole me. One guy even found some ice for my ankle while another physically helped me into the car — they’re all pretty nice guys I’ve discovered over the years.  It’s gotten a bit better since then but I still have to brace it when I walk or it gets wobbly.

To add to the fun, I caught the flu somewhere along the concert circuit.

I have a really poor immune system so I tend to mutate things and always get additional complications.

Three days of flu are over now thank goodness, I’m on day three of a sinus infection, and woke up this morning to bronchitis.  I’ve been through this song and dance so many times by now that I know antibiotics won’t be prescribed because everything has viral roots…unless I’ve had symptoms for over a week, then I can teledoc some in through my insurance.  The sinus infection is starting to break up and move out, so I think I just have another two days of it.  I’ve set an alarm to take guaifenesin every four hours to try to keep the bronchitis moving and from mutating into pneumonia.  I’ve pulled that hat trick a few times…not a fun combo.

P.S. You’re worth more.

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I’ve got to be better about taking note of where I steal images from.  I see them, they resonate, I save them, I move on.  I saved that one months ago and it does a very elegant job of expressing how I’ve felt lately.

I’ve always been bad at talking about how I feel.  I have walls and wear a mask almost all the time.  It’s weird because I’m a pretty open book in every other regard — I’ll tell anybody pretty much anything they ask…just as long as they don’t want to know what I’m feeling.  The damage runs deep and most people aren’t equipped to handle it.  You can only hear so much “it gets better” before you want to smack the shit out of somebody.

Some stuff doesn’t get better.  Time doesn’t heal every wound, some stay fresh and raw.  Some days are better than others, but that’s about all you get.  No matter what you do, some people will always suck…and it’s not up to you to change them or even put up with them.  You don’t have to feel guilty for distancing yourself.

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It’s crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves to think or be a certain way.  How much we blame ourselves when things don’t go the way we hope.  How much inconvenience we’ll go through for others to be happy while neglecting ourselves.

…and it absolutely blows my mind how much a simple “it’s not you, I promise” is a life raft in the storm.  How those simple words quickly became the bandage for so many seeping wounds.  I’ve been told things aren’t my fault before but something about the added promise actually drove it home and made it feel like some of the weight I’ve been dragging around was finally lifting.  I take promises very seriously.

I started this year determined to find happiness.  Pretty pathetic, right?  I haven’t been genuinely happy in a long time.  Life has a way of dealing blows and then hitting me again when I’m down.  Even when things are going well, I can’t relax and enjoy the moment because I keep waiting for the fuckening; it hasn’t failed me yet.

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I’m a dreary thing and I accepted the pessimistic life a long time ago.  If I expect the worst, I’ll never be disappointed.  Hell, I may even be pleasantly surprised and who doesn’t love that?  Life is still rolling with the one-two punches but I find myself settling into an odd sort of contentment in spite of them.  I’m good with being content.

I might even venture I’m almost happy with being content.

I’m working on it.  I’m trying.  I promise I am.