Restart (again) and panic

Apparently I have problems following directions…or if not that, liking the directions that pattern designers create and doing things my way.  It’s really becoming quite an issue.

I’m restarting the shawl AGAIN today.  Why?  I didn’t like the way the decreases worked.  I know it’s me — same with not liking the invisible cast on — but I tend to do this with almost every pattern that finds its way into my hands.  I really need to have a stern talk with myself about this.

At least this time I’m staring over with fresh balls of yarn and saving the other for the end if I need it.  Not having to rip that many stitches counts for something, right?

I really want to have this shawl progressing since I’m going to be down and out for a bit.  I have a lumbar puncture tomorrow and, to be honest, I’m absolutely freaked out and terrified by the whole thing.

I don’t like needles (not even my sewing ones since those have stabbed me on occasion).

I don’t like being touched.

The thought of a needle touching my back…well…I’ve already been panicking for days so that can’t be a good sign.

I almost feel sorry for the doctors.  For my Kindergarten registration shots, I distinctly remember having to have multiple nurses and my parents hold my scrawny self down…and as a toddler, I managed a backflip off of my mom’s lap to escape a finger prick.  I’ve matured a bit since then and can handle shots, blood draws, and even IVs…but not this.  Totally not prepared for this.

One thought on “Restart (again) and panic

  1. So sorry about your back. I hope that you will recover quickly. Know what you mean by not following directions. When things go wrong, then I understand why there were directions. It’s a vicious circle.


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